So let’s talk Fifty Shades of Grey.  As the movie comes closer to actuality, I’ve been thinking a lot about the implications of the popularity amongst housewives and how it could possibly affect our children.  I am sure that much like Magic Mike, the hype that will surround this film’s release will permeate into our children’s lives.   The nekkidness will carry the movie (although we’ll see how well unless it’s XXX rated), despite the lackluster plot line.

I’m not a prude or at least I don’t think so.   I read the trilogy shortly after bringing Baby T into the world (and you know when you have a baby everything changes)—and my take-away from it was less sexy and much more a resounding feeling of disgust.  Don’t get me wrong like many husband’s mine benefited from my immediate reaction to the novel (TMI?)—but when I really considered the books and what they were promoting I felt dirty (and not in a good way).  I cringe when moms give positive commentary on the trilogy, openly discussed what they noted as “swoon-worthy” on Facebook—and walk around toting their “Laters, Baby” bags and t-shirts. It’s being talked about openly and LOUDLY, and perpetuated as “hot” and is a headliner because it “turns horny housewives on”.  Great, but what message does this send to our kids?  Women everywhere are giving approval and validating the Christian-Anastasia relationship and there are some HUGE red flags when I consider what that “says” to my child.

I don’t want my son to think controlling a woman is the way to make her fall in love with him or the only way to con her into having sex with him.  I don’t want him to think being emotionally abusive is okay.  There is no “sorta” about it.  Case closed.  Grey has some serious control issues over Anastasia.  He lies to control her career and lies to “protect” her.  Their relationship isn’t one based on transparency and communication.  That’s problem numero uno.

I don’t want my son to think sex is something that can be bought or bargained for.  While some may argue Anastasia “agrees” to his terms the premise of this relationship is stuff.  She wants to be with him so badly she will settle for his “terms” (yes, I know she draws the line at some things and never signs a contract—trust me I read it).  She wants more from him than he’s willing to offer.  Obviously, like in most erotica/romance she falls in love with him when she knows she shouldn’t.

I don’t want my son to think sex is something that can be purchased with the right currency.  He essentially buys her submission with fancy dinners, laptops and a luxury home.  He uses her as a plaything and she gets over-attached.  Here’s my problem with this—sex without love is simply shameful—I can’t even imagine such a thing—and maybe that makes me old-fashioned but seriously—I don’t want my son to have sex with anything that moves just for the “fun” of it and to get his rocks off.

I don’t want my son to associate pain with pleasure or associate sexual relationships with dominance and submission.  I admit, I do not really understand the BDSM lifestyle but I do know that I don’t want my son to think that causing someone pain will prolong their pleasure.  This screams rape to me despite “willing parties”. Relationships of all kinds should be based on mutual respect and understanding.  I don’t see that with Christian and Anastasia.  I don’t want him to think that having sex with someone involves “hurting them” because you “love them”. 

I don’t want my son to become Christian Grey and I don’t want my daughter to date Christian Grey.  End of story.  So what message are we sending kids by promoting this trilogy and it’s characters relationship?